When I left my high school graduation, I thought I was leaving all of the petty arguments and silly teenage drama behind. I thought I was done with arguments about whose boyfriend flirted with who and who looked better in what tight t-shirt from Express. I thought that games like "truth or dare" were over. I thought that I'd never again sit in a room with a group of girls and my heart on my sleeve, revealing my deepest secrets – like which boys I wanted to kiss and which ones I already had an who weren't good at it – only to have these best friends take that information and use it to hurt me. Not true.

When I graduated high school, I thought that as I looked out the rearview window of my family's then-new Honda Accord as we sped away from the arena where they held our ceremony, that I was closing a chapter in my life. I was going to college in Pennsylvania and I wouldn't look back. I thought that the conflicts I'd had with my girlfriends were a thing of the past. Anything that anyone had ever said that upset me was in the past and I had my whole life ahead of me. '

True, when you're 18 years old, there's a world at your feet that you don't realize, but what every eighteen year old SHOULD know, that I didn't know, is that every experience shapes you. Every conversation that you have will prime you for another. If you have an argument with a friend when you're sixteen, chances are you'll have a similar one when you're 22 and the stakes seem higher.

In retrospect, I liked high school – and I have good memories of sleepovers in my best friend's rec room and of ditching class in the morning to get bagels before advanced journalism. I have great memories of gossiping during field hockey practice and cutting third period when we had a substitute so that I could visit friends who had study hall. Yet, come June 2002, I couldn't wait to be done. To move on.

What I didn't know was that the things that would change were some of the things I least expected. My friend Mark, who I spoke to about four times in high school, wound up to be one of the few I kept in consistent touch with though I was in school in central PA and he went to Michigan. My best friend Jen and I grew steadily apart for four years, only to become closer than we ever had once we'd both graduated and found jobs in New York City.

Tonight, one of my friends gave me some fantastic advice that made me realize how fluid our lives are. As sappy-sentimental as it sounds, we're constantly changing ourselves and every moment that we experience shapes that.

As we were walking home, a little buzzed off a few Miller Lites and engaged in a heart to heart that two people can really only have when walking home at 1 AM on a Sunday (OK I have off tomorrow for Labor Day, I KNOW I'm not that bad-ass). He said "You know, in order to be happy, you really need to focus on what you have, not what you don't have." He wasn't referring to me specifically, but he was right on.

It was true eight years ago and it's true now. There will always be people in your life who suck and no one will be able to erase all of their challenges, every ounce of conflict, or all of their problems. There are bumps in the road, yes. But the best we can do is keep our heads held high and chin up. The worst that will happen? We might learn from an experience and apply it to our future selves.

And when that doesn't work, well, that's what ice cream is for…