Marriage is a blessing many take part in these days, but less than half enjoy as it should be. Devoting your life and love to one human being for the rest of your life is a tall order, indeed. It takes time to understand and really know someone. Patience is a must.
You will both make mistakes. Sometimes, they will be huge ones. With that said, the abilities to genuinely apologize to and forgive one another should be there, as well. Physical intimacy is a must, too.
While no relationship should be built on a foundation of physical touch, it is a vital part of a successful marriage. Below are some ideas for how to improve certain aspects of this very important part of your marriage.
Don’t worry this is not a how-to, but there a few thoughts you might not be familiar with that may help. First, it’s no secret that men and women view this act very differently. For men, intimate relations are a physiological need.
For you ladies that have had children, you could best compare it to the need to express breast milk. If you don’t for a while, the pressure can become annoying and sometimes painful. Men experience a great pressure for release.
Seeing this as the physical need that it is may help you to view intimacy, in part, as helping your man stay healthy. Second, because their bodies react in a more physical way toward sex, arousal is usually triggered by sight.
This is why men can see a beautiful woman and immediately be aroused, but not carry any emotional attachment to said female. With this in mind, cater to your husband’s need for visual stimuli. Each man is different. Find out what he needs and have at it.
The mental aspects of our bedroom lives are mutual. Husbands and wives alike invest imagination and thought into the private time spent together. What you create in each other’s minds before you spend time together can make all the difference.
You don’t necessarily have to tempt each other’s lust all day long while you are separated at work, but a well placed, spicy text message could prime each other’s engines for take off later. Surprise phone calls just to chat will keep you on his mind.
Try writing down your favorite intimate fantasy after your spouse goes to bed and leave it where he can easily find it the next morning. Granted, he may end up calling into work, but you will have succeeded in the mental foreplay necessary to improve relations.
This is where the tables turn a little. Earlier, we stated that physical intimacy is a rather potent physical need for men. What is less understood is that men have quite an emotional attachment to the act, as well. Men tend to connect the act to their self-image as a man.
Simply put, if you roll over and say “Not tonight, honey,” he actually hears, “I’m not interested in you.” After a while, the lack of physical intimacy could actually destroy any bond he feels with you. Granted, there are times that can simply not be helped.
Sometimes, we get sick, there is a significant tragedy, or there are medical handicaps in the way. The rest of the time, make it a point to take the time to be with your husband intimately every time he asks. You might be surprised at how you will benefit from the effort. After all, in a healthy marriage, his happiness comes from seeing you happy.
Marriage has a lot of moving parts. Use the tips above to help you take care of the more intimate ones.
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